Sucks

Breaking Up- The Instruction Manual for the Pathetic

1-Learn to master the fetal position. If you wind up tightly enough, you can keep yourself warm. Sad.

2-Distract yourself- call EVERYONE you know, even people you don't necessarily like. Make plans. Drink heavily.

3-Step away from the computer. The temptation to send e-mails to your heart breaker is too powerful. Don't do it. No ma'am.

4-Stare at the wall and chant 'Nam-myoho-renge-kyo' till one of 2 things happens:

a) You become one with your inner self and feel a power and strength you did not know you possessed

or

b)you realize how incredibly stupid you sound and probably look, that this chanting stuff is bull and you start laughing hysterically.

5-Eat copious amounts of peanut butter (crunchy only- creamy is not efficacious for some reason).

6- CRY (best to apply the fetal position technique outlined in #1)

7-Moments you feel like you are going to fall apart, think of how hurt you are, let the hurt turn to anger- find a tennis racket and beat the hell out of your living room couch. Then call your therapist.

8-Watch 'Moonstruck' and tell yourself to 'snap out of it'

9-Listen to Enya...or gangsta rap- and do interpretive dance around your apartment. Yeah, I know, but it works.

10-Know that it will get better. It has to. You WILL be okay.