The Chart

There are days when you feel 'on' and you know what I mean. You carry the energy. You can do no wrong. People smile at you on the sidewalk. You are in your skin, like the skin you are in, and you have a sense of belonging in that moment. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Now I could go into the days when you are not so 'on' but no need. Those days are far too familiar and exponentially outnumber the previous mentioned.

I bring this up because on the days (most days) when I wonder what it all means and what exactly I am doing here, I think of Syliva Browne. If you don't know her, well, get out from under a rock and read her book, Life on the Other Side, if for no other reason than to open your mind and give you hope that you do actually have a purpose being here. No, Sylvia is not a religious figure and no, she does not throw a bible at you but she does convey her belief in the following:
God did not create us to live only once on this blessed Earth and then return to the bliss of the other side for eternity (how unproductive!). Rather, we come here to live as many lives as we choose, all in our attempt to understand God's intent and love for us and to evolve as spiritual beings...higher and higher.

Here is the kicker. When we leave this life and go back to heaven we sit down and look at the life we lead, what was good and bad and then there, in the complete perfection of heaven with the help of a 'great council' write the chart for our next life, whenever it is we choose to return. We write each and every milisecond that we are to live and though free will still comes into play, we have created this blueprint for our lives on this Earth.

Now I think...what the hell was I thinking? Maybe I have been here so many times that I thought, 'Hey, sure, I can handle that. That is cake in comparison to my last life." Um, yeah, remind me to find that 'council' when I get back to the other side so we can have a little 'chat'.

No really, if we all did write the lives we are living...if we created them, created every heartache and triumph....doesn't that make you think? I did this on PURPOSE. What was I trying to teach myself in this life? I must have wanted to paint a little outside the lines this time around and no doubt, this 'past lives thing' explains some affinities and fears that linger about that I otherwise could not explain. Maybe we carry so much over with us. And you know when you meet someone and you KNOW they are an old soul? They can do everything or you know you have met them somewhere? Makes my brain itch.

But still...I wish I could get a hold of that chart, written in seraphim ink and tweak a thing or two. I know when I get back 'home' it will all somehow make sense...just wish it did now.